I am trying to write this with Bubba squirming away on my lap because he's just noticed where we keep his treasured treats bag. He is now biting the computer wire because I won't let him on the table. He is now repeatedly licking my hands *sigh*. He is now on the floor. He is now having a great big piss which I will now have to clean up. He is now walking in the piss. He is now looking at me with those big, sad brown eyes, his two wet front paws on my clean jeans. I am now putting my hands round Bubba's neck...
The last one was obviously a joke.
The wee is now cleaned up.
It has, as the title suggests, been a week of firsts. Both for us, and of course our little man. Bubba and Ali shared their first shower (bizarre and also very sweet) and Bubba had his first bark, which has naturally continued into many more. It happened when the man (to sound like a Blaxploitation character: 'Yo Da man is comin'' 'Whatchu talkin' about the man Willis?' etc.) came round to fix up the bathroom tiles with sealant. As that strange man came into Bubba's domain something deep inside him was awoken. I imagine he saw in his mind images of wolves howling, lions savagely tearing apart zebras, and eagles catching whatever the Hell it is eagles catch as Boston's 'More Than a Feeling' played in the background; all before his voice bellowed a moderately impressive bark. A bark that said 'You just watch yourself mate. Because I am the man of this house and I will take you down.' Except he didn't bark once, in a way that warned, but also showed restraint. Oh no. Bubba barked repeatedly, like a whiny little kid saying: 'But I don't want him in my hooooouse. I don't even know hiiiiim. Why won't he leeeeeeave? Muuuuuum. Make him go awaaaaaay.'
I got to hear the bark by looking through the letter box to set him off when I got home. It was deeper than expected. Later when we watched 'The Last of the Dogmen' Bubba was calm while the women actors did their thing but as soon as a bald man or a man with facial hair - or worse, a bald man with facial hair - came on the TV that was it. He had to save us from this vision of evil. And he did so with a pre-pubescent bark and incredible bravery, going so far as to jump down from the sofa to look behind the television in an attempt to give this stranger what for. Bubba then had to go in the kitchen for time-out / so we could watch the film in peace. We brought him back in later when the majority of men in the film had long hair and soft Native American voices but the horses they were riding on were another threat, causing Bubba again to get down from the sofa and bellow at the four-legged beasts to get the fuck out of his house. He congratulated himself on his heroism with a piss on the carpet.
On Wednesday Ali took Bubba for his first visit at the vets. He barked at all of the dogs, save for one that was a border terrier like his mummy. She got respec'. The vet said he is healthy and weighs a ridiculously small amount like 22 grams or something. On the 15th he will have his second jab and from the 22nd we will be able to take him for walks. Bubba and Ali are spending a lot of time together because Ali starts uni in a few weeks and the two are bonding well. So well, in fact, that when Ali went to leave the house yesterday Bubba barked at her in outrage that she would want to do something without him.
This morning Bubba, Ali and I were chilling in bed. Us humans had a coffee while Bubba kept trying to drink it so we shut him outside. To spite us he weed right outside the door before going very quiet. Suddenly Ali said: 'What the fook?' and lifted the curtain to see this:
Bubba had run through the kitchen, outside, over the plants and on to our windowsill in an attempt to get back into the bedroom. We watched him for a about a minute laughing until he made this face:
Then we let him in.
I can't really think of much else. He got his first little dog outfit (seen above in the first photo) which says 'Little Buddy'. He knows how to sit on command, still poohs on the paper nine times out of ten and his wees are still hit and miss. Biting is an issue, particularly yesterday when he bit the tender skin on my inner upper arm and made me cry while we were playing with his chew toy, but we are in the midst of a hierarchy battle and he is teething. Overall the first week has been testing of our patience but ultimately a joy.
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